在你需要门训时，门训他人
我不确定门徒训练应该是什么样的，但是我确定不像是我做的这样。
“我一定是说反话了”，我送走了一位花了她人生中一个钟头的时间来寻求门徒训练的可怜的姐妹，关上门时我这样想着。
“太混乱了。我不知道自己在干嘛。孩子们调皮捣蛋，我对丈夫也没好气，显然我没有在‘教导’。我不应该再教导别人了。我才是需要门徒训练的人！上帝，你想要我做什么？”
我一边走回厨房做完晚饭，一边嘟囔着这些话。
在软弱中刚强
我一点儿也不知道神要如何使用这一处境，以及其它许多类似的处境，要好好教导我有关祂对我生命的旨意。我一点儿也不知道神要如何将我的软弱变为刚强。这段时期，我和我丈夫，两个都过了而立之年的人，发现自己一下子成了我们教会里的“年长一族”。在一些困难的时刻，我们茫然不知所措，我寻找一位能够给我属灵鼓励的姐妹，但是上帝另有安排。
上帝没有满足我的这一需要，反而使我对门训他人的热情增长。渐渐地我学到，不是我要做得多好，而是我是否遵守神的命令，“指教少年妇人”（多2：4）。我发现神不断地将年龄上或者属灵成熟度上比我年幼的姐妹带进我的生活中，而她们亟需人帮助她们学习如何尽心、尽性、尽意、尽力爱主（申6：4-9）。
借着被观看进行教导
虽然我想要被人门训，但是我发现自己常常处在训练者的位子，深感不安与不足。我觉得自己像是《出埃及记》第四章中的摩西，说：“神啊，打发别人做吧”，却只遭到神不同方式的责备。就跟对摩西一样，我感到神对我说：“谁造人的口呢？谁使人口哑、耳聋、目明、眼瞎呢？岂不是我耶和华吗？现在去吧！我必赐你口才，指教你所当说的话”（出4：11-12）。
在门训这些姐妹时，我尝试指导、询问她们，一同讨论书籍，还有祷告，但是她们之后会告诉我说，通常最好的教导来自只是观察我。当我早就体力不支还尽力保持耐心时，她们看到神使用我的软弱。我觉得丈夫把工作看得比我重要，在和她们分享了这一挣扎后，她们看到我努力爱我的丈夫。
神会供应我们的需要
我更加明白了保罗的话，他说：“我们有这宝贝放在瓦器里，要显明这莫大的能力是出于神，不是出于我们”（林后4：7）。这些女士近距离看到我这个真实的瓦器。既然我们是神的工作，在基督耶稣里造成的，为要叫我们行善，有时候我们需要让别人看到神的能力从我们侍奉祂的微弱之力中闪现出来。
神不是呼召我们成为专靠自己、无所不能的人。相反，神呼召我们为别人倒空自己，如浇奠祭。因为正是出于对神的爱以及对人的爱，我们倒空自己，神才会使用我们的软弱作为完美的舞台，彰显祂的能力。每天神让我们活在地上，给与我们过敬虔生活的一切所需。这意味着，为了门训祂带到我们生命中的姐妹们，祂也会信实地供应我们一切需要。
我们的信心：神在作工
几年后，神带领一位新的姐妹朋友来到教会。周六下午，当布拉德忙着准备讲道时，她会过来和我呆一会儿。然而，似乎每次她来的时候，都会出点状况，有时是一个孩子大发脾气，有时是马桶漏水！正是在这样的情况下，有一次我抬头微笑着看她，（我深信主的时候是完美的），对她说：“你知道吗？神一定很爱你，才让你看到这些。”
这就是我们的信心：不是因为我们拥有完美的家庭、乖巧的孩子，而是在深陷泥潭时，神的灵在作工。即使在我们的软弱中，神也使用我们的话警告懒散的，鼓励胆怯的，安慰软弱的，并向众人显出耐心，而一切都是为了祂至高的荣耀。
Discipling When You Need to Be Discipled
I was not sure what discipling was supposed to look like, but I was certain it did not look like what I was doing.
“I must have it all backwards,” I thought as I closed the door behind the poor sister who had given up an hour of her life to come and be discipled.
“I am a mess. I have no idea what I’m doing here. There certainly wasn’t any ‘teaching’ going on with my crazy hooligan children and my heart in a bad place toward my husband. I shouldn’t be teaching anyone. I’m the one who needs discipling! God, what would you have me do?”
I mumbled all this half aloud as I walked back into the kitchen to finish making dinner.
FINDING STRENGTH IN WEAKNESS
Little did I know how God would use this situation, along with many other similar ones, to teach me a great deal about his purposes in my life. Little did I know how God would turn my weaknesses into strength. During this season my husband and I, both in our thirties, found ourselves thrust into the category of “older people” in our church. I searched for a woman who might be able to encourage me spiritually as we muddled through some challenging times, but God had other plans.
Instead of granting this desire, he grew my passion for discipling. Gradually I learned that it was less about me doing the right thing and more about me obeying God’s command to “teach the younger women” (Tit. 2:4). I found God frequently brought women into my life who were younger in either age or spiritual maturity and who were desperate for someone to help them learn how to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength (Deut. 6:4-9).
TEACHING BY BEING WATCHED
As much I desired to be discipled, I often found myself in the discipler seat, feeling deeply insecure and inadequate. I felt like Moses in Exodus 4, saying, “Oh God, please send someone else,” for which God would rebuke me in a number of different ways. As with Moses, I sensed God saying, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak” (Ex. 4:11-12).
In discipling these women I tried to instruct and question them, discuss books together, and pray, but they would tell me later that often the best teaching came from simply watching me. They watched God use my weakness in fighting for patience when the day had long since worn me thin. They watched me struggle to love my husband after sharing with them my own struggles of feeling second place to his work.
GOD WILL SUPPLY WHAT WE NEED
I came to better understand the words of Paul when he said, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us” (2 Cor. 4:7). These ladies got a front row seat to see the true jar of clay that I am. Since we are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, sometimes we need to allow others to see God’s strength shine out of our feeble attempts to serve him.
God does not call us to be all that we can be on our own. Instead, he calls us to pour ourselves out for others like a drink offering. For it is in emptying ourselves out of love for him and love for others that he can use our frailty as the perfect platform to display his strength. Every day God gives us life on this earth, he gives us everything we need for life and godliness. This means that he will be faithful to supply everything we need in order to disciple the women he brings into our lives.
OUR CONFIDENCE: GOD IS AT WORK
Years later, God brought a new friend and sister in the church who would come over to hang out for a while on a Saturday afternoon while Brad was busy preparing a sermon. It seemed as though every time she came over something was going wrong, from the worst fit of rage from one of my children to the toilet overflowing! It was during one of those times that I looked up at her with a smile, confident in the Lord’s perfect timing, and said, “You know, God must really love you to let you see all this.”
That is our confidence: not that we have the perfect home and well-behaved children, but that in the muck and mire, God’s Spirit is at work. Even in our weakness, God uses our words to warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, comfort the weak, and show patience to everyone, all for his great glory.
作者：Erin Wheeler
Erin Wheeler和她丈夫Brad及四个孩子住在阿肯色州费耶特维尔。她是大学浸信会的教会成员，她的丈夫Brad担任那个教会的主任牧师。
翻译肢体：王悦
用圣经视野和实用资源装备教会领袖
进而通过健康的教会向世界彰显神的荣耀
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